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Let’s All Just Give Up

24 Sep

Can’t afford health insurance? Mad at public education suckiness? Upset at our reliance on coal-burning energy? Sick of politics?

Just give up. Don’t even try anymore. Forget about it.

Government isn’t going to help. It’s just going to make it WORSE! Electing a new, hopeful, and bright president isn’t going to improve things. He (noticed how I didn’t say she here…it’s a long way away, baby) will just try his hardest and get nothing accomplished. Voting on propositions isn’t going to do a damn thing. The group on the opposite side of how you vote will just over turn it anyway. Boycotting big corporations doesn’t work either. The CEO will just get a “Golden Parachute” if he is fired (okay, there are a few women CEOs but you don’t find many caught up in scandals or oil spills).

So what the hell are we supposed to do? GIVE. UP.

Just keep doing what you are doing. Eat. Sleep. Work. Eat. Sleep. Work. Eat. Sleep. Work. Because if you try to do anything about it, you’ll just get stressed out and die of a heart attack. It’s better to put your head in the sand, go about your daily activities, and then die.

I came to this conclusion after watching The Daily Show the other day. Jimmy Carter was a guest and was pimping his new book, White House Diary. Apparently, he found 5,000 pages of notes he had dictated while his was president and made them into a book. He found about 40 things that bothered him while he was president that are still an issue today. He didn’t list all those things so I’m not going to do it here. He wants people to buy the book! Anyway, here was an interesting part of the interview:

Jon Stewart: Do we ever learn? Do we ever find solutions to the problems? Does it give you hope as you look through this?

Jimmy Carter: No. (without a beat)

Jon Stewart: You could have taken a little longer with your answer!

Jimmy Carter: Well, things have gone down hill within the last few years. The polarization of our country. The evolution of a new kind of politics….

I’m not going to get into ideologies here. I don’t necessarily think Jimmy Carter was a great president nor do I really agree with his point of view on everything. I agree with him on the fact that things appear to NOT be getting better. I can quote a whole bunch of statistics to support this but I’m not going to because we all feel it in our bones.

What’s the solution? What’s the solution? There are probably hundreds of good solutions, and not just one. But, they probably will never see the light of day because we keep f*cking things up. So who knows? For now unfortunately, I think we should just give up.

(Photo: The Huffington Post)


A Different Kind of Meme

25 Jan

Okay folks, I know those of you who have been blogging a while have done the Meme-thing and are so over it…but, I have a different kind of Meme for you. This is one I think you’ll want to participate in because it’s not only fun, but can actually save your life.


I want each of you to go into your pantry or refrigerator and pull out something. It can be crackers, chips, cookies, mayonnaise, mustard, ketchup, jalapenos, pickles…whatever. Look at the label. What do you see?

Then put on your blog the product, who makes it (follow the trail of who owns which companies), and the ingredients (find out what those things are that are in your product that you can’t pronounce). Find out who REALLY makes the product, and what the ingredients are REALLY. You might be surprised. Then pick five other bloggers who will do the same thing.

This Meme is all about consciousness: being conscious of what you put into your body. If you do this, and I see it on your blog. I will send you a copy of my book: Stupid Poetry, Volume I. And now, here’s what I found in my refrigerator:

Product: Best Foods REAL Mayonnaise
Manufacturer: Best Foods -> Hellman’s -> Unilever (multinational food company: revenue $40 BILLION)
Ingredients: Soybean Oil, Water, Whole Eggs and Egg Yolks, Vinegar, Salt, Sugar, Lemon Juice, Calcium Disodium EDTA, Natural Flavors.

I pick: Kylie, Megan, Mr. Shife, Meleah, and MJ.

For extra credit: VISIT THIS WEBSITE!!

Two Different Worlds

22 Jan

I don’t really consider myself a political being, but something has occurred to me lately. It’s not mind-blowing or even something that no one has ever come up with before. The people who “run” this country in Washington, D.C. live in a completely different world than the rest of us Americans. I think D.C. should stand for Different Country.

While most of us are concerned with paying bills, bettering our children’s lives, living a good life, and taking care of those we love…those people in the different country are concerned with winning political battles, getting more funding for their pet projects, or keeping some special interest off their backs. Now, how do these two worlds ever come together? Well, they don’t. Hence, the f*cked up nature of where the two worlds intersect. Like when we try to pay our taxes, send our kids to school, or attempt to run a small business. Those people in that different country either never have lived a life like ours or once did and forgot about it as soon as they walked into the White House or any other federal building for that matter. I seriously doubt that any of those people have ever had to pay a parking ticket, do their own taxes, or tell their children not to stress out from the stupid tests that are supposed to determine how smart they are.

And just so you don’t sit there rolling your eyes at yet another meaningless rant on some random chick’s blog, I have a solution.

The problem is those people in that different country have NO CLUE whatsoever what life is REALLY like for the average American…even though they say they know in the speeches someone else writes for them. The solution then is to make it a REQUIREMENT for ANYONE who even thinks about holding public office to live ONE YEAR as an average American, in an average American city, sending their children to public schools, and earning an average American’s salary. WE THE PEOPLE should make it so because right now folks our government is about as representative of the average person as Sax Fifth Avenue is representative of Walmart.

I shall now step off my soap box and let you ponder that for a while.

Happy Bunny Says It All

12 Feb

NOTE: I apologize for not commenting or visiting much this week. I’ve been busy eating bon bons and getting my feet massaged. Thanks for hanging with me during this tough time.

We’re F*cked!

10 Feb

WARNING: This post contains a rampant rant about the utter stupidity of the State of California management and legislatures. If you are sick and tired of hearing about doom and gloom then read on at your own risk.

Last night I attended an emergency meeting of the local school district to discuss the budget cuts that have come down from the Governator in Sacramento. The district will be forced to bear the burden of a $5.4 Million cut in funds. That means:

1) The state mandate of class size reduction of 20 students to 1 teacher will be repealed and upped to 30 students to 1 teacher.

2) Approximately 40 teachers will loose their jobs.

3) Bus drivers, janitors, and music teachers will loose their jobs.

4) Programs that teach the arts, personal responsibility, and special education will be cut.

How can this help? How can we thrive as a state, country, and a society if our children…theoretically the future…have to bear the burden of over-paid administrators and special interests who have mis-managed our money so badly? Why is everyone in government so short-sighted?

I propose some “out of the box” ideas to fix the budget crisis. Ideas that don’t affect our already sucky education, and it goes like this:

1) EVERY administrator shall forfeit his or her pay for at least one year…after that year is over, they will take a 30% pay cut.

2) State Treasurers and others who “manage” budgets will create flow charts that will be available to every tax payer that shows EXACTLY where are tax dollars go: that includes money that goes to special interests, lobbyists, and election campaigns.

3) There will be a government oversight committee run like jury duty that will run for one year. Average citizens will be chosen randomly to serve and hold the government accountable for every single dollar spent. If this oversight committee finds that the government is performing poorly, they can at any time fire or impeach elected officials.

Unless these ideas are immediately implemented, we’re all f*cked and will remain so until stupid-ass, myopic, bipartisan, and out-of-touch government officials are kicked out on their asses.

Thank you and goodnight.

Return of the Undead

4 Feb

Former Lord of the Dead…errr, Vice President Dick Cheney warned that there is a “high probability” that terrorists will attempt a catastrophic nuclear or biological attack in coming years, and said he fears the Obama administration’s policies will make it more likely the attempt will succeed.

Citing intelligence reports, Cheney said at least 61 of the inmates who were released from Guantanamo during the Bush administration — “that’s about 11 or 12 percent” — have “gone back into the business of being terrorists.”

Ummm, excuse me Lord Vader…I mean, Dick but is that the same intelligence that you used to build a case to go to war on Iraq?

He said he fears the people populating Obama’s ranks put too much faith in negotiation, persuasion, and good intentions.

“I think there are some who probably actually believe that if we just go talk nice to these folks, everything’s going to be okay,” he said.

He said his own experience tempers his belief in diplomacy.

“I think they’re optimistic. All new administrations are optimistic. We were,” he said.

“They may be able, in some cases, to make progress diplomatically that we weren’t,” Cheney said. “But, on the other hand, I think they’re likely to find — just as we did — that lots of times the diplomacy doesn’t work. Or diplomacy doesn’t work without there being an implied threat of something more serious if it fails.”

What? Like you guys used diplomacy? When? Where? Show me proof, Oh Evil One. I bet you can’t!

“If you release the hard-core Al Qaeda terrorists that are held at Guantanamo, I think they go back into the business of trying to kill more Americans and mount further mass-casualty attacks,” he said. “If you turn ’em loose and they go kill more Americans, who’s responsible for that?”

Okay, do you really think Obama is that stupid? Like he would just let all those people walk out on the streets? You are an idiot.

Of one alternative — moving prisoners to the U.S. prisons — Cheney said he has heard from few members of Congress eager for Guantanamo transfers to their home-state prisons, and asked: “Is that really a good idea to take hardened Al Qaeda terrorists who’ve already killed thousands of Americans and put ’em in San Quentin or some other prison facility where they can spread their venom even more widely than it already is?”

Actually, I think we should take all the terrorists and send them to San Quentin. Give them a special spot next to the skin heads and the brothers. They wouldn’t last two minutes, trust me.

After leaving office, Cheney and his wife, Lynne, went first to his home in Wyoming, then returned to Washington to enjoy their grandchildren. He’s working on a book about his career, which has included stints as a House member, White House chief of staff and secretary of Defense.

When you say, “enjoy their grandchildren” you mean with a nice Chianti, right? And that book should be called, “My Career of Lies, Deceit, and Sucking Blood.”

Celebrity President

12 Jan

Okay, I think the media has gone too far with it’s love affair with Obama. Don’t get me wrong. I voted for him because we all need a change…a really big one…and we all need a lot of hope right now.

What we don’t need is a celebritization of the U.S. President. What? I’m talking about this media-crazy, paparazzi-obsessed, what-does-Obama-and-his-family-like-to-eat crap. Here are two very good examples:

1) Malia and Sasha’s First Day of School
When the whole country is obsessed with watching Obama’s daughters go to school, and it even ends up on Perez Hilton’s blog, you know these poor girls are gonna be on MTV one day. On MSNBC, some stupid news chicks were even discussing what the girls were going to get for lunch at school.

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2) Alleged Obama Bush/Feud on the Cover of Globe Magazine
I was at the grocery store last night to pick up some last-minute things for the week, and I glanced up at all the rag magazines, only to see this:

I was thinking to myself, “Okay, when the lame duck U.S. President and the U.S. President Elect end up on the cover of The Globe over some alleged alcoholic feud, the integrity of the Presidency is all but gone.”

I may be naive or idealistic because perhaps the integrity of the U.S. Presidency got blown away by a stumbling, fumbling President who happened to get into office because the real President was a crook or by a White House intern in a blue dress or maybe when the President almost died choking on a pretzel while watching Sunday afternoon football…but, I think the highest office in this country, the leader of the “free” world, the one chosen to uphold our highest “values” should not be on the cover of some cheap-ass tabloid next to Garth Brooks or beside a headline that reads, “Raging Prince Beats Dog with a Stick.”

I’m just saying.

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