A List of Things To Do for Insomniacs

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I’ve started experiencing insomnia for the first time in my life. It sucks. You are completely exhausted. You can hardly form coherent words. You crash into bed ready to zip off to dreamland. Then…your eyes pop wide open and you couldn’t sleep even if you had lavender aroma-therapy, sounds of crashing waves floating above you, or the most expensive pillow-top mattress in the world.

You have insomnia.

So you lie in bed staring at the ceiling. You toss and turn about 500 hundred times. You try reading, watching TV, or writing down your crazed thoughts because maybe you’ll get to sleep if they’re out of your head. Well, I’ve got better things you can do with that extra time, and when you’re done you’ll be ready to get some ZZZZs:

1) Clean Out Your Car
There are things in there that you don’t even know about. When you can’t sleep is a perfect time to check under the seats, open the trunk (what’s that smell?), and dig around the glove compartment. You might even find some extra money you can use to buy some sleeping pills.

2) Organize Your Sock Drawer
Finally, you have the time to figure out how to keep your socks organized! No more scrambling around to find a match. Pull out all of your socks and find their mates (if only dating was this easy) then throw all the singles away. Fold them nice and neat then place them in the drawer in an orderly fashion. You can even arrange them from darkest to lightest…short to longest…dressy to casual. There are a multitude of things you can do with socks!

3) Declutter Your Email Inbox
How many times have you told yourself, “I’ve got to get all this crap out of my Inbox,” but you’ve never had the time? Here’s a perfect opportunity! Simply go through each of your 1,432 emails and delete those you’ve haven’t looked at for 6 months. Do you really need to keep the email from your Uncle Joe with the blonde jokes? You can dump the email about the concert you wanted to see because that was two weeks ago and you never did anything about it since it got buried in the 500 other emails you got that same day. We are decluttering here people! Work with me!

4) Put Away Decorations from Long-Gone Holidays
You’re a busy person. You don’t have time to put glow-in-the-dark ghosts, Christmas lights, or Easter baskets away in August. You do now. The neighbors will really appreciate not having to explain why reindeer are clustered in a make-shift grave yard while pink bunnies look on in horror in your front yard.

5) Throw Out Soiled Foods in Your Refrigerator
The 12 baking soda boxes are no longer doing the trick. You know you need to dump the rotting whatcha-ma-call-it way in the back of your fridge but you’ve been dreading it. Every time someone opens the door they pass out. Since you’re not sleeping you no longer have an excuse. It has to be done. First make sure you get some work gloves, a mask, and some kitchen tongs. We don’t want anyone to catch Ebola now do we?

Tonight you no longer have to stress about your insomnia. Now you have a handy list of things you can do that will help you stay organized. If you fall asleep while you’re trying to untangle the Christmas lights or  in the midst of handling a moldy piece of casserole, don’t come crying to me. I’ll be organizing my socks.

(Photo: Buzzle)